The Worst Blog Post

By and large I like to think of myself as a calm and quiet person. Maybe it's the Canadian in me, but I don't like being angry. But once in a while, things just twist the wrong way and I feel like I need to make a list about it. So here it is: things that make me mad.

1. "Teachers have it easy."

No, no they don't. First off, do you remember those days way back when, when you were in high school (or college even) and you had to give a presentation? Was that scary? Picture it now. Making that long walk up to the front of the class past the staring, judging faces. At best, you're going to get out with acceptance from your audience. At worst, you'll embarrass yourself and know in your heart that from now on, whenever these people see you, they will be replaying in their minds the scene in which you ate shit in front of the entire class. But, much more likely, you will face indifference. You are boring, not worthy of their attention, nothing you say could be of any interest to anyone ever.

That is your job.

No, that is only the visible part of your job. You still need to correct the half-assed homework of a hundred indifferent teenagers, and come up with a new, inventive, engaging way to make them think about why Robert Frost repeated the last line twice in Stopping by Woods or how unit conversion works for tomorrow. Because there's a test next week, which they are not going to study for and you will spend the better part of your weekend grading.

And then there's the emotional stress. These kids are your students. Maybe they don't care and maybe they don't like you, but you at least have invested something into this relationship, and want to see them succeed. And then when you think you're about to get an insightful comment or thought-provoking question, Pablo asks if he can go to the bathroom. No, you can't. You're fourteen, you can hold it in for ten more minutes.

2. "You don't need to learn grammar to learn a language"

I'm looking at you, Pimsleur. 

This idea came about back in the bad old days of Skinner and Behaviorism. The thought was "language is a behavior" and that having students do language behaviors was the best way to get them to reproduce those behaviors in the future. Thus was born the "listen and repeat" school of language learning. These students got really good at saying phrases and dialogues, but in the real world, people are going to go off script pretty quick. 

The pendulum has swung back towards the grammar side of things, but not everyone likes it. I took some surveys at the beginning of the school year to see what my students wanted out of their classes. The winner by far was "improve speaking" with a distant second of "improve listening." "Excellent" I thought, and started planning role-plays and information-gap activities, pair-and-share... anything to get an exchange of ideas going. But I was soon stymied because most of my students didn't have enough grammar background to do more than parrot my examples during the activity then complain when I take time to explain things.

I'm sorry. I know you want to talk, but first we need to learn what a verb is.

I've heard the argument that we're all naturally adapted to learn languages, and if you stick some illiterate shmuck in a foreign culture, they're going to learn the new language. The problem with this reasoning is that you are not illiterate or stuck in a foreign culture. You don't have the years and years of constant exposure and forced usage that will make you pick up the rules on your own. 

3. "Yes, it's !#@$%ing raining"

I get it, you don't like the rain. You don't like damp socks and broken umbrellas. I know that we've broken rainfall records this past day/week/month/whatever. I've been here too. 

And no, you can't say, "oh, she's a PNW-er, she's used to this kind of weather." No, no-one gets used to this kind of weather, I just realize that for this part of the world in this part of the year, gray skies and rain is the default. Sometimes you just have to put on your big girl boots, buy a raincoat and squinch up your face a little. 

4. A wide variety of small inconveniences

• Shops being closed 
• Holes in my shoes
• Compliments
• Mold
• Needing a new glasses prescription
• Having to switch languages at the drop of a hat
  
  And lastly:
• This blog post

I may need to go look at pictures of kittens to calm down after all that.

Obligatory photo:

It's the view from my 5th floor apartment on a sunny Sunday morning. 

Sometimes

Sometimes I forget that I don't have to look both ways before crossing

Sometimes I forget I don't have a clothes dryer

Sometimes I forget free food with my drink isn't the norm

Sometimes I forget to put saldo on my movil.

Sometimes I forget to write blog posts. and emails. and text messages.

Sometimes I forget to buy the tickets ahead of time

Sometimes I forget what time it is at home

Sometimes I forget the supermarket is closed on Sundays

Sometimes I forget about peanut butter

Sometimes I forget about dinner

Sometimes I forget how the song ends and I have to turn on my computer in the middle of the night to remember how it goes

Sometimes I forget to watch the news or check the weather report

Sometimes I forget I'm in a whole different country

Sometimes I forget how great the world is

But then I usually remember